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Job one for Hagel-Death Star


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“Watergate journalist Bob Woodward on Wednesday slammed as “madness” President Barack Obama’s decision against deploying an aircraft carrier because of the automatic spending cuts scheduled to begin Friday.

The USS Harry S. Truman, which was supposed to leave for the Persian Gulf earlier this month, has been kept at home on Pentagon orders because of the sequester.”

(h/t Newsmax)

The money quote from the Morning Joe sit down was this.

“And so we now have the president going out because of this piece of paper and this agreement [saying], ‘I can’t do what I need to do to protect the country.’ That’s a kind of madness that I haven’t seen in a long time.”

Setting aside the obvious flaws of a military strategy that consists of telling our enemies we are unable to deploy ships because we can’t pull our financially inept heads out of our asses for a second, what does “madness” even mean in 2013 America?

Is the madness Mr. Woodward speaks of the same caliber of madness that inspires Joe Biden to advise citizens to simply blast a shotgun out the door to run off them pesky would be perps?

Or, perhaps it’s the kind of madness that causes many to chalk the multiple murders of a madman up to the simple airing of a workplace grievance.

Keeping with the madness theme and, since I fancy myself a giver, I would like to offer our new Secretary of Defense, who is not known for being crazy smart about the military, the following military 101 lesson.

The apparent inability to deploy necessary military assets to unstable hot-spots might give our enemies the impression that we are a weak military managed by Chuck Hagel. So, in order to sidestep the landmine of appearing militarily clueless and anti-Semitic, I would suggest one of the following sequester contingency plans.

1. Use military deception by informing the world that we are indeed full steam ahead on building the Obama Death Star.

2. Deploy admirals or corpsemen if the admirals can’t break away from making coffee at the Pentagon to Lowe’s parking lots to panhandle for change using the reason that they just need some gas money to get to Dallas to visit their sick sisters.

Granted, these may seem like crazy ideas at first glance but, in a mad, mad, mad world where sequester doom is about to rain down on our doomed heads, I thinks it’s time to add outside the box thinking to “balanced approach” in our word arsenal. Not doing so would, at best be treasonous malingering, at worst, pure malarkey.

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"There are two ways to conquer and enslave a nation. One is by sword. The other is by debt." -John Adams 1826

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