2012 Presidential Election, Barack Obama, Geoff Caldwell

Dr. Dumb: Or how I learned to mush my brain and vote Democrat


-by Geoff Caldwell-

EinsteinIdiots-228x300Apologies to the title writer for Dr. Strangelove, but after the debacle that was one November 6th 2012, I feel my little play on words fits quite nicely.

While undoing the fiscal damage done by the Obama dolts on that day will very likely prove harder than undoing Strangelove’s nuclear holocaust, the title does at least offer one explanation as to how so many Americans could become so stupid at exactly the same moment.

Yes, there’s the racism. (Sorry blacks, voting 95+ percent for a guy just because his skin color is ½ yours, IS the classic definition of racism.)

Yes, there are the gifts. (Sorry p.c. crowd, voting for a guy because he signed an immigration edict, mandated free birth control, or gave your union an entire car company, DOES constitute the buying of an election via the giving of gifts.)

Yes, there are the under 30′s. (Sorry little ones, but the day WILL come, and sooner than you think, when your little stunt to vote for “cool” over competent, will turn around and take a chunk of cash out of your ass larger than you could have ever imagined.)

Yes, the tri-fecta outlined above does explain the macro mentality that gave Dear Leader another four years to totally “transform” America into his likeness, but it doesn’t address the micro.

Granted, the warm and fuzzy that comes with blissful ignorance, a parade full of “stuff”and free birth control is far more appealing than balanced budgets and personal responsibility, but that still doesn’t explain the “why” behind the WTF moment it brought about.

Myself and pundits with far more brain cells (at least one or two more anyway) than I have been trying to unravel the mystery of the Democrat voter for decades.

And all to no avail.

But alas, I do believe I have at last stumbled upon the answer.

While I’m irritated I don’t get to claim credit for the breakthrough that we on the common sense side of the political spectrum have been look for years, I am thrilled to know that at least now we have a road map to understanding the mind of a Democrat voter.

It comes by way of a letter to the editor written to an as yet unknown newspaper by an unknown to this column man by the name of James W. Anderson who states he resides in Talladega.

So without further ado, transcribed directly from the letter, is the reasoning behind the brains that so totally screwed you and your grandchildren on that fateful day, less than a month ago:

YOUR VIEW

Twelve reasons why I voted Democratic

Dear Editor:

Here are the 12 reasons I voted Democratic:

  1. I voted Democratic because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I now may marry my Labrador.
  2. I voted Democratic because I believe oil companies’ profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the Government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn’t.
  3. I voted Democratic because I believe the Government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.
  4. I voted Democratic because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as I agree with what is said & nobody else is offended by it.
  5. I voted Democratic because I’m way too responsible to own a gun and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murders and thieves.
  6. I voted Democratic because I believe that people who can’t tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in 10 years if I don’t start driving a Prius.
  7. I voted Democratic because I’m not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.
  8. I voted Democratic because I think illegal aliens have a right to free healthcare, education and Social Security benefits, and we should take away the Social Security from those who paid into it.
  9. I voted Democratic because I believe that businesses should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government of redistribution as the Democrats see fit.
  10. I voted Democratic because I believe liberal Judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get there agendas past the voters.
  11. I voted Democratic because I think that it’s better to pay billions for their oil to people who hate us but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle, spotted owl, gopher or fish.
  12. I voted Democratic because my head is so firmly misplaced toward the south end of my body it’s unlikely that I’ll ever have another point of view.

No trees, Spotted Owls, or Red Cock-headed Woodpeckers were harmed in the sending of this message.

—James W. Anderson

Talladega

Geoff Caldwell

Geoff Caldwell

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Discussion

One thought on “Dr. Dumb: Or how I learned to mush my brain and vote Democrat

  1. 13. I voted Democratic because I want to share in other folks’ wealth.
    14. I voted Democratic because I hate white people.
    15. I voted Democratic because I’m an Atheist and so are they.
    16. I voted Democratic because I believe the workers of the world should unite to overthrow capitalism.
    17. I voted Democratic because I didn’t have a cell phone.
    18. I voted Democratic so there wouldn’t be any more guns to kill people.
    19. I voted Democratic because I believe everything people really need should be free.
    20. I voted Democratic because they endorse uncontrolled sex without responsibility.
    and I could add about 200 more symptoms of insanity.

    Posted by Linus | December 3, 2012, 3:30 pm

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